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Dictionary Of Useless Words
By Stradismus
NB-All of the entries in this dictionary are entirely of a nonce nature and are the sole creation of Strabismus, enigmatic eccentric extraordinaire. Use with caution.
ablosk, adv. – in a confused state after having unwittingly viewed some monstrous offense; e.g., Goatse (which DON’T see).
aggoflink, n. - a corporate businessman who feigns communal familiarity.
avitrovia, n. - complete loss of vitrovial elements.
basptric, n. - a libation consisting of white wine and rubbed plaice.
bleaming, n. - a foal with the physic of a grown quagga.
calthomelium, n. - the flaccid gubrile membrane, found only in Nyctimene albiventer.
canups, n. - droppings of a coyote.
chelkthwain, adv. - still forlorn after seven months of intensive counselling.
clopsipneic, adj. - tending to prefer Alan Thicke over Mel Gibson.
crelcorostra, n. - dust particles from felt-based artificial house plants.
dafnail, n. - oceanic lifeforms which are not yet identified.
deklyptophragm, n. - any corporeal cavity used for concealing (and thereby smuggling) contraband, but chiefly for heroin.
dumoiric, adj. - pertaining to used prosthetic testes.
ebititia, n. - collectibles purchased south of the border (ANT: perphytitia, n. - collectibles purchased north of the border).
entrolipistol, n. - foreign matter discovered on a corpse which gives the initial impression of having originally belonged to the body itself.
exhylonorpotron, n. - unit of energy used in measuring final stage of popcorn production.
fantrate, v. - to increase the blood flow in a comatose patient.
fenchrostata, n. - lips which are almost entirely nonprotruding (i.e., lips which are virtually ”not there”).
flessy, adj. - imbued in outraged uncertaintyship.
flilce, n. – dirty, melted snow.
fompolla, n. - any round object which at first appears to be some kind of button/switch but which in fact has no electromechanical function and is probably just a painted bolt.
fulificate, v. - to replace an old pet–recently deceased–with a newer, almost lookalike one of the same specifics in hopes of sparing a child who knew the pet of ”sad news”.
gaipong, n. - the act of pushing a would-have-been suicidist off where s/he was ”about” to jump; common in Formosa and suchabouts.
glavulotescence, n. – the gradual closer resemblence to smb. one knows of another one doesn’t know half as well.
Grolopolotopia, n. - a fabulous land of benevolent giants sporting prehensile kneepans.
haehaetloohae, interj. - It goes well!; a common greeting among elders of the Penniquotty Tribe.
ipulatrific, adj. - daring to call the sun a liar.
izbysshia, n. - plant life resembling a clown’s peruke (wig).
kloppjor, n. - festivities enacted at the expense of a bannished fellow who is suspected of secretly spying on the entire village for purposes yet undiscovered.
lebutactation, n. - perjury committed at the behest of the defense attorney.
limbob, n. – one who cleans the latrines on an aircraft carrier.
magroblome, n. - an indoor pendulous moth cocoon.
mescothrave, n. – that point at which one becomes unaware of what s/he was talking about in the first place.
nilliseptra, n. - the pusillanimous framing another for one’s own heinous crime(s); a ”false flag”.
nochleist, n. - a collector of names for collectors (of any and sundry objects, etc.)
opiflact, v. - to agree to disagree.
oxump, n. - a lazy sectary.
pajaakshtra, n. - the ”lost” god of protection against commonsense.
plencate, v. - to hand a knife or pair of scissors to smb. hilt-/handle-first.
quilce, n. - a green-tinted sequin.
Rathonopsiloquidae, n. – a family of elusive creatures which attack livestock and leave the carcasse in a state of utter ruin; the Goatsucker (or Sp. Chupacabra).
retauchron (pl. retauchra), n. - a piece of food lying on the floor.
slepnirv, n. - the ability to win at ”the staring contest”.
styprotaxophrenia, n. - obsession over the fact that one of your enemies struck you last; known to cause involuntary micturation.
tatroponiform, adj. - having the shape of an obese transvestite (wig and all).
thyxotinia, n. - disgust over inane television commercials; exceedingly common.
ugrogastoid, n. – pertaining to fake vomit, as would be employed in the cinema.
vellocotoxipodora, n. – a legendary race of hobgoblins who can take the form of one’s child(ren) and perform all sorts of mischief.
Wambodrule, n. – self-given sobriquet of a mysterious troublesome fellow who sports a costume made to resemble the Greater Glider (Schoinobates volans). This scallawag is usually spotted around artificial bridges and testing grounds, often thought to be a spy. Sometimes known as “the Mothman”.
I Want My Load Back!
I’d like to preface this entry– my very first blog entry– by saying I WANT MY LOAD BACK! What a nice way to start a new blog, eh? Lol.
Smart Communications, Inc. is the Philippines’ leading wireless services provider with 35.2 million subscribers on its GSM network as of end-December 2008. Of its total subscriber base, 20.9 million subscribers are served under the brands Smart Buddy, Smart Gold and Smart Infinity and another 14.3 million subscribers are served through its subsidiary, Pilipino Telephone Corp., under the brand Talk ‘N Text and I, precious reader, am one of its loyal subscribers. But now, Im thinking of switching to other network.
“But why?“, you ask.
My mother and I had an arguement yesterday because of a zero-balance-drama. I borrowed her cellphone but I did not use her load. When I checked its balance, the screen displayed “Please try again”– this means you have zero balance. ZERO.
“What?!! I just purchased economy load(P30)Â a while ago and I sent 2 sms so it should have atleast 28 pesos left.”, mom said.
“I dunno! I didn’t even send a single sms or anything”, I explained.
So yeah. In other words, my mother spent 30 pesos, sent 2 sms but didn’t have a chance to use the 28 sms/ 3 minutes call left because well, its gone. And we dont know how and why.
Why, why?
That was not the first time the disappearing-load-act happened to us. My mother sent me 5 peso load but after sending 2 sms, I got zero balance. I was so pissed– my crush texted me that day pftt!
My cousin purchased ALLTEXT10 and after sending 2 sms, he’s got zero balance. So what’s with no. 2, huh? Mystery.
So where’s our load smart? What have we done? Will we ever get our loads back?
The disappearing-load-act has to stop because, one, its not cool. Two, its not funny. Three, it’s not SMART. Four, me, my family, my friends, my family friends and the stray animals (hardy har har) will switch to other network.
So yeah! Welcome to my blog. *wink ;-)

